Setting realistic goals and expectations before bariatric surgery is crucial for so many reasons. We know how important this step is because as patients, we went into our procedure thinking we would never be hungry, we would eat less, and the weight would fall off and stay off. Those things did happen, but hunger returned, we could eat more than we thought we would be able to, and our weight loss did not happen on the timeline we set for ourselves.
In our BariNation Membership Community, people often talk about their expectations after surgery and we work hard to help our members recognize and set realistic ones.
In this weeks BariNation Podcast episode with Dr. Mimi Tan of Evita Bariatrics in Seattle, Washington, she helps us understand what unrealistic expectations look like and how we can adjust them to be attainable and realistic.
➡️ Click HERE to listen and HERE to watch. And be sure you subscribe to The BariNarion Podcast on your player or YouTube to always know when new episodes drop!
Why Setting Realistic Expectation is Important
Bariatric surgery is a powerful tool for weight loss, but it's not a magic solution. Understanding the limitations and potential challenges helps prevent disappointment and disillusionment.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even depression if not met. Realistic goals foster a positive mindset and reduce the risk of emotional setbacks.
When goals are achievable, patients are more likely to stick to post-surgery guidelines, follow dietary recommendations, and engage in physical activity.
Realistic goals support sustainable weight loss and improved overall health. It prevents the yo-yo effect often associated with drastic and unsustainable weight loss plans.
Focusing on achievable goals allows patients to enjoy the journey towards better health, rather than solely fixating on the end result.
We hope you enjoy this episode! Let us know what you think by commenting below or becoming a monthly patreon of the podcast! We are listener supported and would appreciate your help!
Episode 205 Transcript:
Natalie: All right, you guys, today we have a wonderful topic, a wonderful guest joining us today. Uh, we're really going to be diving into unrealistic or [00:01:15] realistic expectations and what those can look like. Pre op and post op.
And we have a lot of awesome questions. And before we do, I would love Dr. Tan, would you please introduce yourself?
Mimi: Yeah. [00:01:30] Hi, thanks so much for having me. My name's Mimi Tan. I'm a bariatric surgeon. So I am, I practice in Seattle, Washington. I'm from the area originally, kind of trained all [00:01:45] over and now, um, and in practice here, I do bariatric surgery pretty much a hundred percent of the time.
My practice is almost entirely bariatric surgery. I absolutely love my job and working with my patients. I do, um, you know, [00:02:00] everything from the sleeve to the gastric bypass. I do revisions. I also do endoscopic bariatric procedures as well. Um, and then I've also kind of started incorporating medication as well.
It's like anti obesity medications in my practice too. So [00:02:15] a little bit of everything. This is, I love talking about this. I'm very excited to be here.
Natalie: We're so excited to have you. We actually stumbled upon you on Instagram and we love you. Your content, it's so [00:02:30] relatable from our patient perspective. Uh, we have, you know, surgeon friends who have also, you know, enjoyed your, your content, you just keep it real.
Honestly, you keep it so real. And, uh, we [00:02:45] just know that that's going to carry over to today's conversation. We're hoping to have fun. Uh, we're hoping to learn and, uh, maybe break some of those myths that, that we think about when it comes to those unrealistic [00:03:00] expectations with bariatric surgery. Yeah, a lot of them.
There's a lot of them. So, so many
Mimi: topics. It's a big one.
Natalie: It's a big one. And if you are not yet a patron and [00:03:15] or a Berry Nation support community member, we're going to be diving in even more after this in our bonus episode that we have almost every single week. Uh, if you would like to, uh, hop on over there, you can support.
The podcast [00:03:30] by going to berry nation podcast.com. Or if you wanna just dive into the membership community, you can go to berry nation.mmn.co. We have a lot more support. We have conversations like this every single day, [00:03:45]
Jason: all. So Dr. Tan, what common unrealistic expectations do you see patients having for recovery and their life after surgery?
Mimi: So I think probably the [00:04:00] most common unrealistic expectation that I see in my patients when I first meet them is that life after surgery is going to be easy, that weight loss is going to be easy. And this [00:04:15] comes from, I mean, we hear this all the time, surgery, medications, whatever. This is the easy way out.
You're cheating, you're doing whatever. Like, this is You know, this is just, it's something that you are skipping a bunch of steps to get to this ultimate goal. [00:04:30] Right? And I hear this all the time, and even if you don't necessarily think that, like, surgery is the easy way out, or you think that it's cheating, I think people underestimate how challenging it is to live life after [00:04:45] bariatric surgery, how much work it takes every single day to kind of stay on track and be doing the right things.
It's a chronic disease. Surgery certainly helps address the issue, but it does not magically take [00:05:00] care of the issue by any means. And so I, I think that's probably the number one thing that I do have to like reset for patients before surgery. You know, I think about this all the time. Actually, because one of like my [00:05:15] least favorite things that I hear from patients after surgery is when they tell me that they're surprised because I never want my patients to feel unpleasantly surprised after surgery, you know, and even if it's a small thing, like a common one is like, oh, I was surprised that I was so constipated after [00:05:30] surgery.
Like, I don't like it because it sucks to be constipated after surgery. You know, like, You have your incisions that are healing, and then you can't poop, and it's just a horrible feeling. It's really awful. And like, oh my gosh, shoot, why didn't I prepare you for that better? [00:05:45] So that you could have, like, been ready for that after surgery, right?
And so I think that, like, setting some of those expectations is incredibly important. That's probably one of the big ones that I do have to reset. You know, I think, I, [00:06:00] I'm so excited to be talking about this topic because I, you know, I was, there's this paper that came out actually recently from the Netherlands, um, that I've been thinking a lot about and in this paper, they looked at patients who had bariatric [00:06:15] surgery, then they sent them a questionnaire at 1 year.
And in this questionnaire, they asked basically questions about, like, how much did you regret bariatric surgery? Right? And there were some page, like, you know, they're like 2 patients out of over 100 that were like, I [00:06:30] absolutely regret it. Right? We don't really know the details about that, but then 50 percent of people are like, I don't, I don't regret anything like 0 regrets.
And then everyone else kind of fell in between, right, like, between mild regret to some moderate regret or even strong [00:06:45] regret. And you know, I've been thinking about that so much. And I actually looked up the questionnaire and I kind of went through it myself, not for bariatric surgery, but like, how do I feel about becoming a doctor, right?
And I actually scored in like the mild to [00:07:00] strong regret kind of category. And if you actually asked me, like, Do you regret becoming a doctor? Do you regret becoming a surgeon? I would say no, like I, I really love my job. I love that I became a doctor, you know, but my journey here has been [00:07:15] complicated. My journey every single day is complicated.
Life after surgery is complicated too, right? It's life. Life is so complicated and people are gonna have complicated thoughts about their journeys as well. I think that's, that's kind of the [00:07:30] issue here is how do we kind of see sit and thinking about all those complications and all those like intricacies of surgery and how do we really reset patients in a way where they can feel better about it after surgery.
I think that's absolutely key is setting those [00:07:45] expectations. So I, you know, again, this is super cool that we're talking about it, I think.
Jason: Well, and I also think it, it would depend on when that questionnaire was filled out or like what, like at what stage of post op recovery are we talking, you know, to people about these [00:08:00] things, because there are a lot of people that have some buyer's remorse pretty quick after, or maybe in the first like month or two with constipation, with not being able to eat, having to learn, you know, you're still maybe on the tail ends of the liquidation.
want to chew something like we, you know, all, all [00:08:15] spectrums. So we completely understand that portion of it. But why do you think patients go into their surgery having these unrealistic expectations?
Mimi: Yeah, I think anyone who has struggled with obesity or weight issues for most of their [00:08:30] lives have kind of carried around a lot of baggage, whether or not that's emotional baggage, healthcare baggage, like just so many different things, right?
And so there are so many things that we attach to our weight, and there are so many things that then get attached [00:08:45] to how we handle our weight and how we deal with our weight going into things. There are also just a lot of, I think, misunderstandings about surgery, um, in a lot of ways, and so I think people bring all of that to them when they first start this [00:09:00] journey, and it's, it's so hard to, like, dig through and, like, really reset everything when we have fairly limited time together.
Right? Like, I do this all day, every single day, and so I, you know, work with hundreds of [00:09:15] patients, and I've had all that experience with them. It's really hard to try to convey all of that experience into a person in a relatively short amount of time. So it's very difficult, but I think it is important to try to do as much as possible in the run up to surgery.[00:09:30]
Natalie: I think that's really wonderful that you said that. I know for myself, 2020, before I was having my surgery, I wanted all of the information. I had all of these preconceived notions of surgery [00:09:45] and the best way to battle it was finding people on Instagram, listening to podcasts, listening to people who have been through it, share their experiences.
And I think that's where these conversations just come [00:10:00] into play, is we can set the realistic expectations up front so that people aren't shocked. After, uh, we lead a lot of groups in the very nation support community that, you know, and Jason and I were just talking [00:10:15] about this before we were recording.
Oh, I didn't know I wasn't going to be able to eat, you know, this much, or maybe I'm eating too much, you know, there's still, there's all this information out there, all of these personal stories being shared and people still have these [00:10:30] preconceived notions of, you know, What life after surgery is actually like, um,
Mimi: yeah,
Natalie: I'm happy
Mimi: that, yeah, and I, you know, I think, I think it's really important going into surgery.
[00:10:45] Knowing yourself, and, like, how much information you like to have. Before something right and how prepared you like to be in most life situations. There are certainly people who are very much just like, I'm going to roll with the punches as I move forward. [00:11:00] Right? But if you're like me, like, I want to know everything.
I'd like you Natalie. I like, I want to know all of the things. And, and so if you are that type of person, I think it's so important to just like, really dig in deep as early as possible. Try to [00:11:15] like, get into it as much as possible so that you are as prepared as you can for after surgery and also just realize that, like, no matter how much you prepare, like, there are going to be surprises.
I mean, I like, do you guys agree? Like, is there anything that you could have done to [00:11:30] fully 100 percent prepare yourself for after surgery? Like, it's. I think there are always going to be challenges that you're just going to run into to some degree.
Jason: Yeah, you're 100 percent right. Like we, we, uh, Natalie hosts a pre op and newly post op group in the Bering nation [00:11:45] community.
And while people will say going in, they feel more prepared than they would have any other time. And they have amazing questions and they really feel ready to go. There are still and that's a slow ramp up like that's a once a week like everybody comes [00:12:00] in So it's it's really not just a one time brain dump like when they come in for their when they come in for their first like Consultation and it's just like here's all of the things you need to know and people are like Like, like me, I absorbed absolutely none of it.
[00:12:15] Like, I went and my doctor was like, Hey, what surgery do you want to have? And I was like, isn't that your job? Like, you got the white coat? Like, I don't know. I was like, I skipped that day in medical school. I have no idea. Like, I don't know. I don't know what works for me. It was just funny the way, like, and he thought it was hilarious because he was like, well, I guess that's kind of [00:12:30] true.
He's like, well, what have you been researching? I was like, I only know there's two kinds. So I was like, I have no idea. And then we kind of, the more we got to talking about the intricacies of both, it was funny the way he broke it down for me. But it, it really does make sense. Like, even though [00:12:45] we slow roll and ramp patients up into it for the pre op and newly post op, there are still things that people just don't think to ask or think to know, or things that pop up because not everybody's different.
Like everybody goes through something a little bit different. So,
Mimi: [00:13:00] yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we
Natalie: touched on this earlier and that this leads me into my next question is life after surgery is so vast. I mean, it's life, [00:13:15] right? Like, this is a new way of living. So. Truly nothing can fully prepare you because nothing ever going to prepare you for life either.
And I think we have this misconception. They're obviously going [00:13:30] into, um, into bariatric surgery, but when someone comes to you or is entering this, this pre op phase, or they're getting ready to have their surgery, How do you set them up for the best success? Like what are, what are [00:13:45] things that maybe not all surgeons are preparing their patients for, what are some things that are important for you?
Mimi: Yeah, yeah, you know, actually, when I first meet any patient, I always warn them up front. I'm like, this is a big visit. We go through a lot of information. [00:14:00] Buckle your seatbelt. We're going to do a lot, you know, and, and, you know, we've gone through so much. We have to talk through all the surgeries and you have to like talk through all your history.
Like there's just so much that we have to get through. But I actually think that like one of the most [00:14:15] important questions that I asked during that visit is. What do you hope to achieve with weight loss? Or what do you hope to achieve with this surgery? What are your goals? And I get, So many different [00:14:30] answers to that, right?
There's the common ones like, okay, I, I want to get rid of my diabetes. I want to improve my overall health. I want to stay healthy. I want to stay active, like all these different things, right? But, but you also just get so many wide ranging responses to [00:14:45] that and a lot of people have like a weight goal in mind that they want to hit as well, right?
That's pretty common. And that's, that's an easy one that I see. start with is like, how likely are we going to actually get to your weight goal, that number that you have in your head with [00:15:00] this surgery? Right? Um, because what surgery sometimes cannot do is it cannot get you to go? This X number like that you really want like there is a certain amount of weight that we typically expect to see with surgery.
[00:15:15] And that's often a surprise surprise for patients during this 1st visit, because it's sometimes is not as much as they may be expected before surgery. And if we don't have that discussion up front, that's only going to lead to disappointment and kind of. Unhappiness [00:15:30] afterwards as well. And so I, I really like to set that expectation up front of like, this is how much weight we realistically can achieve with surgery.
And this is how likely we are to actually get to your goal. And then sometimes as well, I like to actually [00:15:45] kind of talk about that number that some people have attached in their head as well. And where that number came from for people, because maybe that number is just something that's. Some doctor at some point told you this is the weight you need to be at to [00:16:00] be healthy.
And, you know, I think sometimes we need to question that number a little bit. Like, are you actually going to be happy and healthy at this weight? Like, maybe it's actually 40 pounds. Heavier when, and that was a weight that you were at 20 years [00:16:15] ago. And you felt good. And you felt happy. And maybe that's not a normal BMI, so to speak, but that is the, that is the goal that we should work towards.
And so we sometimes have that conversation as well. And then, you know, sometimes too, [00:16:30] people have, I think they have this unrealistic expectation that losing weight is going to fix all of their problems in life. And again, this comes from years of. Weight has been such a big issue that you've [00:16:45] struggled with for so long.
This is like, this is, you know, a universal experience for most of my patients, right? And it's along with that, you attach so many other things to it. And if I get a sense that, you know, you are expecting more than what I can [00:17:00] promise with this surgery, I really like to sit there and say, like, we are not going to maybe fix all of, like, your relationship with X, Y, and Z, maybe, like, I'm not going to be able to fix depression, anxiety, like, all these mental health things that can come along with obesity [00:17:15] as well.
And so there's, there's a lot that we can achieve with surgery, but there are a lot of things that we can fall short at. And so I like to have that conversation early on as well with my patients. And then I think it's important to kind of go over it, like, as we [00:17:30] move forward as well. But that's kind of the beginning part of, like, setting expectations, I think, in a lot of ways.
Jason: That's awesome, though, that you mentioned that. My, my surgeon kind of did the same thing for me. He let me know, like, in no uncertain terms. He's like, look, you know, your [00:17:45] age, your weight, your highest weight that you're at. He's like, Sleeves not going to do it. He goes, it'll get you started. He's like, but we will have to come back for a revision.
And of course myself, I'm like, I'm stubborn. So I was like, not me. I'm going to make the sleeve work and I'm going to do all the things. And then my body was like, [00:18:00] that's cute. But yeah, no, it's, it's really good that you mentioned, you know, setting those for people because There are a lot of things that people come into.
And like you had said, like people do attach this magic number and all that does, like they don't realize that they're [00:18:15] setting themselves up for, you know, just kind of a, such a hard time for themselves because they, you know, we're the hardest critics on ourselves. So if we don't hit that magic number in this magical timeframe that we decided to make it like, Oh, if I don't hit this in six months and I've ruined [00:18:30] everything.
And it's just, it's horrible to see people go through that when they don't have to. And I, I'm just so glad that you talk about, you know, making that a point to, to point that out to people because it is so important.
Mimi: Yeah, yeah. I think, [00:18:45] you know, one thing I hear from a lot of people is, maybe I don't hear it, but I kind of sense it is this fear of failure after surgery.
You know, I think that's huge. It's like, and yeah, right. It totally makes sense, right? Because [00:19:00] you've tried so many things and you're like, okay, surgery is now this, this option here. I can't fail this option, right? And then it's like, you have to ask, what is failure and did you actually fail? Like, sometimes I'm like, well, this is actually what I was [00:19:15] expecting with surgery.
This is a success in my mind. Like, why do you see this as a failure? And that's a conversation that I'll often have with patients after surgery when they come to me feeling like they failed. And I'm like, you know, again, this is, it's complicated. [00:19:30] It's super complicated.
Natalie: It's so complicated. I literally just had a conversation in my beginner bariatrics meet up last night with a member who, you know, is a couple months out of surgery [00:19:45] and not feeling like they're losing weight.
Enough, right. And I use that term very loosely and is terrified of the thought of adding in, you know, GLP one medications or whatever that may be [00:20:00] revision. Obviously for my advice to her from a patient perspective is like, okay, let's give it some time to see like what pans out. And at the same time I said, so does GL like, what's the fear of [00:20:15] these medications and You know, they said failure means that the surgery has failed and now I have to do something else and I'm like Obesity in itself.
And this may be derailing us a little bit, but obesity, [00:20:30] a complex disease and like your disease might just need more treatment like mine did. And like you said, Dr. Tan, like, what is this failure? Like, why are we afraid of the so called failure here? It's a [00:20:45] really interesting topic. And I'm, I'm really glad that you have that conversation with your patients, because I think that it's needed.
Mimi: Yeah, I think, you know, and that's why I like Again, I think when you first, that first meeting, there's only so much that your mind [00:21:00] absorbs, but I do try to be like, okay, this is, again, this is what I expect. This would be a success in my mind with this surgery so that hopefully you don't think, To yourself, if you don't exceed that expectation that you're failing.
Right. But [00:21:15] it's not uncommon that I see patients after surgery and when I tell them that they're not doing anything wrong to cause this, so to speak, like, it's you just feel like the weight lifted off your shoulders from having someone tell you that. And I, so I think in all of that. [00:21:30] Another thing that people run into is, is this fear of failure.
You also fear sharing that failure with your providers as well. And for the longest time, you know, as a, as a doctor, as a surgeon, we always say like, no [00:21:45] news is good news, right? Like, okay, if I haven't heard from my patient, I'm going to assume that it's good. But I don't think that's actually the case in bariatric surgery.
Sometimes no news makes me worry. And so. Like touch base a lot, you know, touch base as much as you [00:22:00] can. We want to be there for you and your successes, but also your setbacks. So it's, it's, it's an important piece as well.
Jason: Oh no, that's, that's huge. When it comes to, you know, getting back in touch with your surgeon, when, when things aren't going as well, I never spoke to my [00:22:15] surgeon again, my surgical team after I, when I started getting way back, I never would, I never reached out.
I never said a word. I sat in. Shame, guilt, and basically just failure mode for almost a year. [00:22:30] Because I had dropped down from 470 to like 290 on my own. Technically like 283, but that was when I was doing the liquid diet with my wife before her surgery. So that didn't count because that wasn't [00:22:45] real. The second I sniffed food again and started coming back.
So we don't count that part. So, but like 290 on my own. And so once I got back to 353 at my, and I stayed there for like nine months. But in that nine months, I was like, [00:23:00] well, you know, my, you know, You know, core morbidities are coming back. I didn't even lose all my co morbidities. This is awful. I ruined my only chance I had to succeed and I don't deserve to have a revision or GLP [00:23:15] 1s or anything else that are going to fix it.
Because if I would have done the right things the first time, I wouldn't have to do anything else. And I didn't. And so now here we are, you know, and it wasn't until I had a conversation with another surgeon who was [00:23:30] like, well, you know, He ran through basically, you know, the, the, you know, obesity is a chronic disease, what does chronic mean?
Chronic means it never goes away. And kind of ran me through, like, the things that I tell people all the time, and wasn't telling myself, and I wouldn't hear from [00:23:45] myself. And so, it was after that point that he was like, well, so, so tell me again why you don't deserve To have, you know, another tool in the toolbox that's going to help you.
And it really did, like you said, like the weight lifted, it was [00:24:00] like losing the weight all over again. The shame went away, the guilt went away. And then I became an advocate for revision so that nobody else felt the way that I felt, because I don't want anyone to sit for nine months. Because [00:24:15] now I think back to if I would have, you know, stepped up and said something and not sat in this for nine months, how much further would I be?
How much better could I have felt? Like, why would it like the mental damage and anguish I did to myself in that nine months was very hard to come [00:24:30] out of. And it wasn't until I started accepting because I had, I had sworn I would never have revision ever. I was never going to be that guy. Like whatever happened the first time you're not going back in, like have a great time.
Like it's not going to be me. And the light at the end of the tunnel [00:24:45] that that provided for me, when I finally accepted the fact that I not only could be, but would be having a revision was something that I wanted to make sure that other people could find very early in that, you know, in the shame [00:25:00] spiral that we have when we feel like we have failed our last chance.
Mimi: Yeah. And, you know, I think things like regain or insufficient weight loss, these are things that are kind of voodoo [00:25:15] topics. Sometimes I feel like when you go see your doctor or when you go see your surgeon. And so I think I've actually been trying more and more to start having those conversations early.
Right at some of our early post operative visits to say, [00:25:30] like, hey. Weight stalls are normal, right? Insufficient weight loss that happens to people right when I give you numbers. Those are averages. So there are people who lose less weight than that weight. Regain [00:25:45] is real. I always talk about weight regain at my 1 year visits with my patients.
And this is the reality of what life is like after bariatric surgery for a lot of. People and so once you kind of normalize some of that, then it, you know, hopefully that takes away [00:26:00] some of that shame and that fear that people have so that they can actually come and see their surgeons and get help for that because you're absolutely right.
And with all of these things, like. Earlier is going to be better. It's kind of true for any disease, right? And [00:26:15] obesity is the same way that earlier we kind of catch it and stop it, the better dealing with, like, not losing enough weight. That's going to be easier than dealing with weight regain regain, you know, dealing with a lot of weight regain is going to be harder than dealing with a lot less weight regain.
So the [00:26:30] earlier is always going to be better in these situations. And. We know that a lot of people experience it, right? I think it's hard for surgeons to, to admit that, that they're offering a tool that is imperfect to their patients. Um, bariatric surgery is not [00:26:45] perfect. I wish it were, but it is not.
There's a lot of things that can happen afterwards that are not positive. And so I think it's important that. We start talking about it and start normalizing it for people. That's how we move forward in life.[00:27:00]
Jason: Yeah, so you touched on some of the realistic expectations that you give your patients for their post op and the recovery phase. What are a couple of the other ones that you try to try to lay down for people?
Mimi: Yeah, um, so I think in the early [00:27:15] recovery phase, I, you know, just from like a strict recovery standpoint, you know, I like to talk about pain afterwards and setting relatively realistic expectations about pain.
I think this is this is super important. And then I, recovery just from like an [00:27:30] energy and getting back to like life expectations, those are things that I like to talk about as well with people, and some of the weird things that come up, like, yeah, not necessarily weird, but you know, constipation, jumping syndrome, all these things that like people might need a reminder for.[00:27:45]
Food intolerances. Um, so some of those things that like, we like to set some expectations for early on after surgery. We have some discussion about it prior to surgery as well. Again, I think some of the bigger things talking about stalls talking about [00:28:00] kind of these bumps in the road that people might experience after surgery.
I think that's important as well to set up early as well. Um, and frequently, because I think the first time that someone hears something, it doesn't necessarily stick in your mind, [00:28:15] so hearing it over and over and over again is helpful. So some of those really key points, I do like to, sometimes I sound like a broken record, but I do like to kind of go over it and over it and over it.
That's kind of why I actually started doing social media, because I was like, [00:28:30] I don't know if people are always just listening to me talk necessarily. So, and I know people spend time on Instagram. So like if, if some of that messaging gets through in that form, then great. I think another thing that we haven't really touched on in the recovery [00:28:45] period that I, I think people do struggle with is.
Comparing yourself to other people and defining your success against others, like every journey is different, right? And most people, or I wouldn't say most, but a lot of people having surgery, they've had [00:29:00] friends who have had surgery, family members who have had surgery, or they, you know, they're online looking at social media, doing whatever, comparing their journey to someone else's journey.
And defining their success or lack of success to that journey. And I think [00:29:15] that can be harmful in a lot of ways. It can be very good in a lot of ways to have that support, but sometimes being cautious about that is really important as well. And so that's a conversation that we sometimes need to have to.
Natalie: I'm really [00:29:30] glad that you brought that up. Uh, I've been saying that since I started my journey. Comparison is the thief of joy, right? That's a J for a reason. If I'm looking at someone's chapter [00:29:45] 120 and I'm on chapter three, like that's not fair to compare myself or my, my story or my progress to them. And I think it's important to note, like, What are you starting [00:30:00] with?
Comorbidities, age, like we've touched on this whole episode. But it is really easy with social media, with, you know, talking to some surgeons, you have these standards of I should be losing X amount at this [00:30:15] time, or I should be at this weight or this body composition at two years, three years, whatever that is.
And I think, like you said, it's so important to just pause and say, well, this is where I started from. You know, for me, it's like [00:30:30] 403 pounds, pre diabetic insulin resistant, like all of these things. And yes, I still have obstacles. I have chronic illness. I'm working through all these things. But I'm also, you know, 145 [00:30:45] pounds less, I am more active, I have a lot less comorbidity, you know, it's like comparing ourselves to ourselves is really the only marker that we should have.
And I think that's really important.
Mimi: Yes. Yeah. And, [00:31:00] and I think that's another. important thing that often gets lost in the shuffle is like realizing how far you've come, you know. I think people are so critical on themselves that I'm like, oh my gosh, you've lost a hundred pounds. Like, this is [00:31:15] amazing. Like, this is like, this is an amazing thing that's happened.
You have to compare yourself to where you were before, right? And but it is hard. It's so hard in the world that we live in right now to be able to sit and reflect in that way. Sometimes [00:31:30]
Jason: I always tell people the worst 4 letter word. You can say post up is only. I've only lost 20 pounds. I've only lost 60 pounds.
I've only lost 100 pounds. I'm like, you know, we celebrate all wins over here. I celebrate ounces. So, don't mess, don't, don't come over here with, I've only lost so many. [00:31:45] Cause, yeah, no, we're going to talk about that. Cause I will not, uh, trust, trust and believe. I go back and I will double weigh. If I forgot to go to the bathroom or forgot to do something before I weigh, I will go right back.
I have no shame, zero shame. I need all my ounces. [00:32:00]
Mimi: I mean, it's so important to celebrate those things, right? Yeah. And it's just, and it's not all about the scale, right? Like it's, it's every inch that you've lost is amazing. Every, every like non scale victory that you've celebrated is, is important. [00:32:15] I think sometimes sitting and just reflecting on some of those, those things are really, really important as well in this journey.
So,
Natalie: well, this has been a great conversation. I know we're going to have more with you Mimi, [00:32:30] because this is so great. Before we wrap up, we would love to know what is one thing that you wish our listeners, bariatric patients everywhere knew about what life after surgery is like? [00:32:45]
Mimi: Yeah. Oh man, that is a One thing.
That's, that's a complicated That's like, that's like trying to put a lot of things into one sentence. I think, I think just realizing that surgery is complicated. Life [00:33:00] after surgery is complicated. There is And that's okay, that there are going to be ups and there are going to be downs and that's going to be okay, right?
Surgery is not a magic wand. It's not a magic tool that is going to solve everything. It's not going to magically make [00:33:15] the weight come off. It's a huge life change that you have to be ready to accept into your life, um, and that you have to have the right mindset for in order to kind of approach in the right way.
It's so, so important. Again, like, I, I [00:33:30] think this is. So important to just look at obesity as a chronic disease. It's a lifelong struggle for most people. Yes, you can maybe point at some people who have had surgery and they've never had to think about their weight ever again, but I think that is the [00:33:45] exception.
It's not the rule. Understanding that is really, really going to be important for most people. Surgery is a tool. It's an imperfect tool. There are a lot of things that come up that you might not expect, but That's okay. Like, as long as you [00:34:00] have the support to tackle it, and that you have the right mindset to be able to tackle it, and just knowing that those things are going to come up for you, and that there are ways that we can help you with that, I think that's really important.
Natalie: Well said. For, for being put on [00:34:15] the spot, that was well said. That was well said regardless, but especially for being put on the spot.